My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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