All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
