K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
