Grow some girl-balls and come out already
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
