I'm lost and stupid without you.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
