Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
