remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I think i got beer on your cat.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
