Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
