girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
