white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
