I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
