I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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