hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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