Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Barsexuality is the new black.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
