You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
