WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
