I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
