I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
