Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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