Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
