I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
