I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
