I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
