I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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