Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
