I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
