the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
