whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
