D3 body, D1 cock
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
