Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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