Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
