I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
