Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
