It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
