Whod you bang
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
