yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
