he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
