i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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