me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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