hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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