and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
