then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
