Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
