WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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