dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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