White coat. Heels.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
