Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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