Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
