Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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