was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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