Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
